Vegan Roasted Garlic Caesar Salad with Rustic Buttery Croutons

Yesterday, I made either the best or most toxic decisions of my life: I bought a vacuum cleaner. For those who know me well, I have this very out-of character-cleaning neurosis. I say "out of character" because I...

A) Wear the same pair of jeans almost every day. 

B) Wear the same 4 t-shirts over on repeat .

C) Wear the same pair of sneakers every day

D) Do not use any hair product 

E) Do not wear any kind of make-up (lip moisturizer doesn't count). 

F) There is always bird shit on my car (this one drives me up walls, and is completely my parking spot's fault. I've surrendered.) 

G) I look like a 14-year-old stoner, and stoners are notoriously lazy. 

Points A-G would logically lead others to believe that I am one gigantic slob. Pizza boxes, Chinese take-out containers and clothing should rightfully liter the landscape of my 2 bedroom apartment. I assure you it is spotless. To me, the weirdest part of my OCD tidiness is that it developed nearly overnight. When I lived at home as a teenager, I was a stoner slob. 

Our once-a-month housekeeper even stipulated that if she found one more fork or pizza box in my bedroom, she quite simply wouldn't clean it. My poor mom, envisioning what would become of my room if it was unkept, had a firm talk with me that evening. It didn't help much. As a compromise and a snarky gesture, I made sure never to leave a fork or pizza box. Then, I moved out on my own. 

Instantaneously, I became a fanatic about having a clean living space. I notice small "dirty" spots that no normal human being would notice. I've done my best to ignore them, but I feel like the spots are staring through my soul. I can let something go for one day, but it will haunt my every thought. An analyst would probably tell me I have "control issues" with myself, so I take it out on filth. I think I just like shit clean. 

I'm pretty great at letting go, trusting the universe and all that hooey. Yes, my new vacuum is gorgeous. It's lime green. It sparkles. It's Eco-friendly, and allows me to erase pet hair on my couch faster than I can find a hooker in Vegas. My hope is that it will not help me clean more, but that it will help me spend less time doing so. 

I love a good Caesar salad, but cannot order it at most restaurants because it contains eggs and sea-creatures. I promised a few months ago that I would post more simple recipes, and I have faltered. Well, at least there's one thing I can add to my "Not Neurotic About" list: Embracing faults.

Oh yes, the recipe...

 [Sorry, kids. This one had to be taken down for my cookbook. Buy/Download it on Amazon, or try to woo me with an impressive email.]