Even as a wee one, I had serious issues with hearing the word "No." At the age of two, my mother had me in the toddler prison seat of a shopping cart, and was making her way to the checkout aisle. As she pushed past the tantrum-inducing impulse snack foods to place her items on the conveyor belt, I snatched a bag of Doritos off the rack. "No!", she stated firmly. "You've had enough junk today." According to my mother, I retorted with my signature devious, defiant, eyebrow raising glare, and tore the bag open with one triumphant rip. I was pretty conniving for a two year old...truly believing that once the bag was open, she'd have to purchase the chips. And they would be my sweet yet salty victory.
She pulled that bag out of my hands faster than I could blink, handed them to the check-out lady and said "I'll pay for these, but throw them away."
Clearly my mother did something right. The only other time I attempted a feat of petty larceny at a grocery store, I stole a chocolate bar from the same aforementioned impulse section, then broke down in tears in the parking lot due to overwhelming feelings of guilt. She then forced me to go back inside of Sparkle Market, apologize to the manager and return the candy. I don't believe I've stolen anything since.
Still, even into adulthood, "No" is not something I enjoy having to hear. I now have much better self-control, and usually just take matters into my own hands. As a vegan, we all know how many times the ingredient list for dishes at a restaurants is often just one giant "No." Butter? No...sorry. You cannot have the delicious garlic rolls. The Butternut Squash Bisque? No...sorry. We add Creme Fraiche. And Mac and Cheese? Forget about it. All the high end gastronomic establishments would never consider adapting their Blue Cheese Burrata version for a Vegan. That would just be criminal!
Well, here you are, ladies and gents. A fancy Mac and Cheese so you can just tell yourself "Yes". Play by your own damn rules.
*You can use any combination of your four favorite vegan cheeses. This is just what I happened to use.