Thursday, May 28, 2009

Vegan Matzo Brie (or, for my Shiksas, Vegan Fried Matzo and Scrambled "Eggs")

Blog Readers:
I rarely ask favors. I don't really find it in true Blogger nature to request something in a forum that's typically suited for leisure. But! Just yesterday, I finished the first draft of my cookbook. I need help with two things:

1) I need readers. You don't have to read the whole thing...If enough people are interested, I'll break it up into sections. In my mind, it should be written in a manner that's easy for home cooks to understand. I did my best to break every recipe down...explaining the shortcuts you can take to simplify my often complex recipes.

If you're interested, drop me an email at

2) If you live in the state of California, PLEASE do whatever you can, when possible, to help support the overturn of Prop 8. The longer time passes without my ability to wed, the more Vegan Food I eat, therefor requiring me to have the seams let out on my wedding dress. Help us obtain our Constitutional Rights before my inescapable Jewish Middle-Aged Spread hits.

Ok. 'Nuff said.

Growing up, I didn't really like Matzo. I dreaded the arrival of Pesach, fully knowing that the Matzo Curse was about to rear it's ugly head in the Shagrin Household. "Curse?!" You ask.


When it was the time of the Jew Year when leavened bread products could not be consumed, all chaos broke loose. My mother, typically the sweetest, strongest woman I know, would be stricken with Matzoitis. It's a condition that affects the lower digestive organs, plugging her up in the worst way possible. She would try so hard to make it through the duration of the holiday without yeast-risen products. The Matzo would continue to accumulate in her lower organs, forcing all of her tension and anxiety to explode from her top. And something not so nose-friendly to explode from elsewhere.

My sister and I, two of the biggest food lovers I know, had to start off our day with a Pesach Approved version of Fruit Loops. They tasted something akin to pureed cardboard, Elmer's glue and artificial Prune extract. I don't know if it's what's in the cereal that made us so crabtastic, or our bodies experiencing deep sugar withdrawal without our Frosted Flakes. But I do know that no one in temple sat within a 5-foot-radius of our family.

And Daddy Shags? Smart man. Avoided the whole damn situation by escaping to his friends house to play poker and down some Jew Brews.

Okay. So perhaps I embellished slightly. Very slightly. But I still could rarely get into Matzo. The only time I remember thinking "Wow. Yum." after taking a bite is when my Nanny or Mom would cook Matzo Brie aka Fried Matzo. Traditionally, it's Matzo scalded with hot water, dipped in beaten eggs and pan fried. Some like it savory, some like it sweet. If your sweet tooth is larger than mine, add a little sugar at the end.

Vegan Matzo Brie

Basic Scrambled “Eggs” Mix

• 1 12 oz package Soft Silken Tofu
• 1 12 oz package Extra Firm Silken Tofu
• 1/4 cup MimicCreme
• 3/4 cup "Egg" Mix
• 1 TBSP Mellow White Miso Paste dissolved in 1 TBSP Hot Water
• Dash of Garlic Powder
• Dash of Turmeric
• Dash of Yellow Mustard Powder
• 2 dashes of Curry Powder
• 1 1/2 Black Himalayan Salt, to taste
• About 1 TBSP Nature’s Flavor Orange Food Coloring (optional, for color)

Make the Scrambled "Egg" Mix first, then set aside:

Blend all of the above ingredients except for the Extra Firm Tofu in a food processor. Add the Extra Firm Tofu to the food processor at the very end, and just pulse a few times until it’s broken up. Taste for salt. You can use this basic “Egg” recipe as you would in a Quiche, any Scramble recipe, you name it! Get creative. It should look like so...

Matzo Brie

  • 4 pieces Matzo
  • 3-4 cups Water
  • 2 1/2 cups Basic Vegan Scrambled "Egg" Mix
  • 1-2 TBSP Vegan Margarine, for frying
  • Salt and Pepper, to taste
Break up the Matzo into about 2-3 inch size pieces, then place in a colander.

Bring the Water to a boil.

Melt the Vegan Margarine in a large skillet over medium heat.

Once the Margarine has melted, Brie (scald) the Matzo by pouring boiling water over them, then draining as quickly as possible to prevent sogginess. Quickly mix with the Scrambled "Eggs", and cook over low to medium heat until golden brown on one side, then flip over and brown the other side.

Taste for Salt and Pepper, then serve immediately.


Gina said...

Looking good...although I don't think I have *ever* had Matzo.

I didn't know you were writing a book, that's awesome :)

Jenni (aka Vegyogini) said...

SO YUMMY! You're such a culinary genius and you always amaze me with your recipes. I can't wait for the book!

I don't think middle-aged spread will ever hit you, but I would love to see you in a wedding dress.

In our household, anything flat (read: tortillas) was acceptable during Passover, so we weren't totally without edible bread-type things. Passover-approved fruit loops sound thoroughly horrible, but I enjoyed your description of them. :)

Tami said...

Woohooo! I can't wait for your book either!

vijita said...

I'm one of those creepy non-commenting readers of your blog, except that I'm not actually creepy, I just don't want to bother thinking up thousands of different ways to say "that looks fucking delicious). That being sad, I've often been thinking about how there are boring or overrated "famous" vegan cookbook authors out there, and how is this girl not a total vegan celebrity? I'm stoked that you're writing a book!

I'd love to be a reader too. I'm a writer, so I have a pretty sharp editing eye.

Melisser; the Urban Housewife said...

I can't say I've ever had this dish, but you make it sound good! Congrats on the book being done.

Ricki said...

You are brilliant, seriously! It looks JUST like "the real thing." I bet it tasted delicious.
I'd love to read your cookbook, but I know that my life is insane right now. What's the timeline like?

Sophia said...

I love reading your blog, and your recipes are great! You have me sold as a reader for sure. I have the same problem as well, not many people read my blog, but I guess I am fairly new so It'll happen in time!

Anonymous said...

The first time that I saw this dish on a menu, back in my omni days, I got really excited because I thought that it actually involved brie cheese! Even as a vegan, I still think that it's kinda wrong that it doesn't!

Jes said...

I'm not sure if it's kosher to say this, but that looks like the perfect late-night, post-drinking food...!!

Adriana said...

You've got my support on both no doubt! You need testers? I read too. Hollah!

Foodeater said...

In my house my dad liked his Matzo Brie salty like yours but my mom and I liked it covered it sugar... yum!

Anonymous said...

yum! i have eaten a lot of matzo in my day, but have never tried matzo brie. thanks for the recipe!

Unknown said...

oh wow..i used to LOVE matzo brie...what an awesome recipe! i'll have to try it out :)
oh and a cookbook? i can't help but to think it will be no less than AMAZING haha :)