Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Vegan Black Cumin Crab Tostadas over Cabbage Salad with Lime, Mint and Wasabi Dressing

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Cinco de Mayo always brings two thoughts to my mind:
1) Mexican Food (duh.)
2) Tequila.

You see, tequila and I have had a very rocky past. My dear friend Leigh, who you may also know as the Anonymous lewd comment poster on my blog, experienced the Jenn's body + Cuervo tyranny first hand back in January.

The evening started off like any typical Friday night in West Hollywood. Meet up at Leigh's. Pick up Friend. Pay $10 to park on Robertson, then hit the bar. For anyone that knows me personally, I can drink my weight in alcohol. I'm 95% Russian Jew. I make sailors look like baby kittens. But for whatever reason, even one shot of Tequila sends my mind and stomach into a frenzy. We down a shot of Jose Cuervo, then I down a Corona. Now, being the good daughter that I am, I listened to my mother when she said "Liquor before beer, you're in the clear"...but this evening she led me astray.

We start dancing, take another shot of Cuervo, dance some more. The last few things I remember are as follows:
-I make out with Friend quite publicly for an undetermined amount of time.
-I run for the bathroom, cutting the 10+ people in line, burst into a stall and begin to heave.

The rest of the story is as told to me by Leigh and the Friend...
Apparently, Leigh and Friend drag me out of the bar, where I proceed to vomit into a park trash can which is quite visible to by-passers. Leigh and Acquaintance finally drag me to the valet stand (had I mentioned that I'd driven that evening? Like I said...I can usually handle my liquor). The valet man takes one look at my less-than-composed facade and asks "Is she OK?". Leigh says "No. I'm driving."
They stick me in the back seat of my own car, but I decide I want to sit on the floor instead. I proceed to puke into a PAPER grocery bag...which I miss on more than one occasion.
Leigh takes Friend home, deciding that I have to spend the night at her house. She drives back to her place. For ten minutes, I apparently refused to get out of the car. Leigh had to pee (Hey! That rhymes...) quite badly, so she picked up my disgusting little self, and carried me inside. I bee-lined for the bathroom, and in a matter of 45 seconds, threw up again, then fell asleep in the toilet. When Leigh tried to pick me up to clean me off, I grab the scarf she wearing...which just so happened to be an anniversary present from her beloved...and wiped my face on it.
She threw me into bed.

The next thing I remember, it's morning. Awful, headache morning.

I suppose you can understand why I'm posting a Tequila free recipe on this happy holiday.

Be safe tonight!

13 comments:

quarrygirl said...

damn that looks good. i really fucking love mexican food.

about the tequila situation, sounds like you owe leigh big time! haha. i am the same way though, i had tequila ONE TIME. when i was 16 at my office xmas party of all places. i got drunk and threw up on my co-workers. what is it with that stuff?

Mandee said...

Haha, I think we have all had nights like that, but I have never had tequila!

The tostadas look good, like really good!

Vegyogini said...

That's quite a story...thank goodness for Leigh!

I love that you don't add anything that tastes seafood-like (i.e. sea veggies) to the faux crab. That makes me 99% more likely to love it!

Liz² said...

awesome!!!

this is bookmarked and I am making it, SOON. My last foray into jackfruit was only a moderate success, and the idea of panfrying it has got me into the idea again. That and, oh, crunchy tostadas, yum!

Leigh said...

Jenn this had me laughing so hard I'm sure all my neighbors heard me. Fucking hilarious. Easily one of the best drunk nights/stories ever. I hope to create it again next weekend minus the cleaning up of the puke.
I forgot to mention that in your drunkenness, you spooned me all night. I let you even with your throw up hair on me. I am a good friend.

Sevin said...

um...how do i go from 'friend' to 'aquaintance' as you get drunker?...and as i recall...i drove home...leigh was sooo mean that night to you...but it was kind of funny...
i had completely forgotten about this incident...tried to block it from my mind...hahaha
you also forgot to mention the part where you were in the back seat puking into the whole foods bag then passed out...with your head still in the bag...*snicker* leigh had a field day with that one...

we need to hang out before i move...

Melisser; the Urban Housewife said...

Yes, I am tequila free as well after similar stories!
Regardless, the food looks GOOD.

Leigh said...

Mean? Roscoe you got it all wrong! Just because I couldn't stop hysterically laughing at my incapacitated pal doesn't make me mean.

JennShaggy said...

Haha Leigh...you're just sassy.

Mihl said...

I know for sure that my boyfriend is a Russian Jew, but now that I think about it...he seems to be totally immune to tequila.
Your tostadas look and sound totally amazing! I bet the cabbage salad is also great on its own.

tiny myths said...

classic!

Joi said...

It sounds like you had quite the night. I have never had tequila. I very rarely drink anymore. I learned to never ever tried and out drink a fire fighter. I honestly do not even remember what I was drinking that night. I do remember trying to use my credit card as my ID though.

Black seeds said...

Thanks for the yummy recipe. Black cumin seed is also called as Nigella Sativa. It have multi-vitamin, multi-mineral properties which aid healthy skin, lustrous hair and shining strong nails. It also cures mouth ulcerations, bad breath, cures pain from insect or animal bites etc. Black seed extract oil is an excellent flavouring for many dishes and is great to use during massages of the whole body, it helps combat dandruff.