Vegan Roasted White Eggplant Alfredo Sauce + Fennel and Spinach

It's time for some more "Kvetch Corner"! I often feel that I'm a victim of ageism. My 25th birthday is fast approaching, and I'm still told on a daily basis that I look like a 15-year-old. When people ask me my secret, I tell them it's because I moisturize with this new French lotion called toilette de bébé (it’s French for Baby Toilette). It’s actually made of of Aloe Vera, Primrose and Baby Urine. Keeps me looking youthful. Alright. I'm kidding. I'm just feeling sassy today. 

People always assert their unsolicited opinions while informing me how lucky I am because I look so young. You know what doesn't feel so lucky? When I drive myself to get a haircut at Fantastic Sam's, and they lead me over to the Rocket Ship chair and hand me a lolly pop. That doesn't feel so fucking lucky. When a bouncer at the bar laughs at me before even asking for my ID, I don’t feel so fucking lucky. When I get all you can eat Mongolian BBQ for free because the waitress thinks I’m under 13, then I do feel lucky. It's a sad thought that a child under 12 or me is eating Mongolian BBQ alone, but enough on that topic. 

There's something else that's been irking me for the past month. If you can't tell from reading my past blog posts (or this post for that matter), I'm just a little on the crazy side. Side thought: Does that make me sane if I'm a Gemini? 

I receive health insurance through the Actor's Unions, but there's one slight problem. The Screen Actor's Guild’s health insurance plan DOES NOT cover mental health care. Neither does the Writer's Guild. At first, I was really angry about this. After some deep thinking, I think I figured out their ulterior motives. Most writers and actors are crazy mo fo's. If they did cover all of our mental health expenses, there wouldn’t be any funds left over to pay for my pap smear. I guess I can’t hold too much of a grudge. Well, I'm clearly just rambling about nothing today. Let's chat about food for a while. 

This is a redux of a recipe I posted two years ago, and it's one of my favorites. Check your local farmers market to locate yourself some white eggplants, or ask a produce department member at local co-ops and natural foods stores. You can use OG purple eggplants, but the white ones have richer nutty, creamy flavors/texture that make for an excellent faux-fredo sauce.

Roasted White Eggplant Vegan Alfredo Sauce with Fresh Fennel and Spinach

• 1 package Fettuccini Noodles (or use the Pasta Guide on pg 48 of my cookbook to make your own)
• 2 Large White Eggplants (You can substitute Purple Eggplant)
• 2 cups Fresh Spinach Leaves 
• 1/2 large Yellow Onion, thinly sliced - like parenthesis
• 3 cloves Garlic, quartered 
• 1 Fresh Fennel Bulb, thinly sliced 
• 1 TBSP Fresh Lemon Juice • 1/3 cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil 
•  • 1 Cup Vegan Heavy Cream 
•  • 1 1/2 cup Dry White Wine 
•  • 1 tsp Thyme • 1 tsp Dried Sweet Basil 
•  • Sea Salt and Pepper (to taste) 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Take white eggplants, prick all over with a fork, and brush lightly with olive oil...

  Place them in the oven for 30-45 minutes, or until soft, turning them over after 20 minutes. Set aside to cool. If you're not using Vegan Heavy Cream, mix soy milk and apple cider vinegar together, and set aside to coagulate. Cook Pasta until al dente, drain well and toss with a little extra virgin olive oil to prevent sticking. 

Heat the 1/3-cup olive oil in a large sauté pan over medium heat, and sauté fennel, onion and herbs for 5-10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add white wine and lemon juice, then simmer until liquid reduces and veggies are tender. 

Once the eggplants are cooled, slice in half length-wise and scoop the "innards" into a blender or food processor. Add Vegan Heavy Cream (or soy milk mix) and garlic to the blender, and blend until smooth and sauce-like. 

Pour the mixture into the skillet with the fennel and onion, and mix in well. Salt and pepper to taste. Add the spinach to the sauce, and reduce heat to low. Simmer on low 5 minutes, serve over pasta and garnish with fresh fennel fronds.