Vegan Pasta Time: Ditalini, Seasonal Greens & Kalamata with a Black Garlic White Wine Reduction

What a week I've had! My typical day-to-day life consists of me waking up, chugging 3 cups of coffee (yes, I chug coffee), surfing the Internet, writing recipes then heading to the grocery store(s). I then cook aforementioned recipes and, as the sun sets, I usually indulge in some intoxicating substance(s) to wash my cares away. I often times have friends/company/family over to eat my creations and partake in the other evening activity. 

My routine rarely wavers. For whatever reason, the universe decided the past few days would consist of some mayhem. As a creature of habit, I'm still recovering. It started off as a typical Saturday night. My close friend's roommate hangs out with us on a pretty regular basis. Let's just call him "John" for the story's animation. John and my friend are hanging out at my place, and John's motorcycle is undergoing repairs at a mechanic shop. 

He wants to go to the bar with some of his friends, and being the all-too-nice person I am, I let him borrow my car so he doesn't have to take the bus across LA. I've known John for nearly two years, and he's a sweetheart. Big mistake. You see, John is fond of playing practical jokes on his friends. When my phone rings and John sheepishly says "I've just been arrested and am about to go to jail for a few days", the first words out of my mouth are, "So I'll see you in 20 minutes, jackass?". Turns out I was the jack ass. 

I egg him on for a few minutes, thinking he's joking with me when he says "I now have a DUI and they are jailing me for a few old warrants." Finally, I hear the cops shouting at him to "make it quick", and realize he's not kidding. Remember now...he's driving my car. It was a Saturday night, and thankfully parking meters are free on Sundays. The cops were nice enough to park the car in a legal spot giving me a gracious time window to get my car. Problem was, they took the keys downtown to the station with John. I live on the opposite side of town. 

On my precious Sunday, I had less than 24 hours to obtain my keys and return the car to safety before it was impounded. Being the lucky bitch that I am, I got to spend all day Sunday at the LA County Jail trying to safely reclaim my keys. Let me tell you how simple they make it! On the phone, the cops told John to tell me all I have to do is go to the station and pick up the keys. I Google search. There are 4 different "Downtown" stations. I Google deeper to find out where non-barbaric criminals are most frequently held in a drunk tank, and take my best guess. Now my ass is on the bus at the ass-crack of dawn. I arrive at the correct jail at 11am. The officer in charge tells me "Oh, no. You can't just get them back. You need his (John's) permission first. Visiting hours aren't until 1pm." 

Fine. I can kill some time. I get his permission at 1pm, head to the front desk, and am then told "Oh, no ma'am. We can't actually release the property until 3pm." Why on earth am I being forced to suffer for someone else's mistake?! Killing the first two hours in downtown LA was difficult enough. I shouldn't have to "do time" just to get back my damn property. They ended up giving me ALL of his belongings, including his shoe laces. 

Just to punish him a little, I stole all the quarters he had had in his pocket so I could do a load of laundry. So there. And in case you're wondering, John is now safely out of jail with minimal fines and community service. His "old warrants" was actually only one, and it was for not paying bus fare. He really is a good kid, but like we touched on last week, sometimes we don't always make the brightest decisions. 

Lesson learned? Don't loan your car to someone you know is going to a bar. Anyways, this week you're in for a special treat! Two recipes, one post. The lovely Donna has prepared an article entitled "Easy Vegan Eating" to serve as a guest post. I'm keeping my recipe this week short and simple so you can focus on hers (which follows). Oh, and don't drink and drive, kids. Not only could you kill someone, but I won't bail you out, either.

Ditalini, Kale, Rainbow Chard and Kalamatas Braised in a Black Garlic and White Wine Reduction

• 1/2 lb Ditalini Pasta (or substitute with Miniature Penne)
• 1/2 lb Lacinto Kale
• 1/2 lb Curly Green Kale
• 1/2 lb Rainbow Chard
• 2 TBSP Vegan Margarine
• 2 TBSP Olive Oil, plus more for "de-sticking" pasta.
• 1 medium Onion, halved and thinly sliced
• 1/3 cup Better Than Bouillon's No Chicken Broth
• 1/3 cup Dry White Wine
• 2-3 TBSP Fresh Lemon Juice
• 4 cloves Black Garlic, minced (or substitute with plain ole Garlic)
• 1/2 cup Kalamata Olives, sliced
• Salt and Pepper, to taste
• Dr. Cow's Tree Nut Cheese, finely grated, for garnish (or Vegan Parmesan)

Bring two large pots of salted water to a boil...one for the pasta, the other for the greens. First boil the Ditalini Pasta until just al Dente, drain well, then rinse with cold water and drain again. Toss with a bit of Olive Oil to prevent sticking. Set aside. Next boil the Kales and Chard for 5 minutes. Drain well, set aside until cool enough to handle, then coarsely chop. Set aside. In a large, deep skillet, melt the margarine in the olive oil over medium low heat. Add the onions and black garlic and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onions have softened. Add the No Chicken Broth, White Wine and Lemon Juice, and allow the sauce to simmer until it reduces by 1/3rd. Toss in the Kale, Chard and Olives until thoroughly combined. Cover and cook for 3 more minutes. Remove the pan from heat, toss with the pasta, season with salt and pepper, then garnish with vegan Parmesan. Serve immediately or at room temperature.

Easy Vegan Eating

Making the switch to the vegan lifestyle can be tough for people who want to get healthy but aren't the most talented cooks in the world. With that in mind, I've gathered a few simple recipes to guide you through a day of meals and show you that with a little bit of preparation, even the most clueless chef can whip up a healthy, vegetarian entree. Breakfast: Pancakes Pancakes are a breakfast staple, and a lot easier to make than you'd think. Plus, by using soymilk instead of cow's milk, you can make them vegan with ease. Here's what you'll need for a batch that serves four: 1 1/2 cups flour 1/2 tsp baking soda 1 tsp baking powder 1 tbsp sugar 1 1/2 cups soymilk (or water) 2 tbsps vegetable oil All you do is mix and pour. Mix the dry ingredients together and stir in the wet ingredients. You can add water a tablespoon at a time to thin out the batter if it's too thick. After that, pour the mixture onto a nonstick pan and cook over medium heat, making sure to flip them when the edges start to brown. It's a simple, fast, vegan way to start the day. Lunch: Vegan Mac and Cheese Like many "regular" meals, mac and cheese can be turned into a vegan one with just a few ingredient substitutions available from your local grocery or organic food store. This recipe yields eight servings: 1 lb pasta 2 cups vanilla soy/rice milk 2 tbsps soy margarine 1 cup nutritional yeast 1 tsp turmeric 1/4 tsp ground sage 1 tsp salt 3/4 tsp ground pepper 1/2 tsp garlic powder Again, it's a simple process once you've assembled the ingredients. Cook and drain the pasta, and then combine it with the other ingredients in a large bowl. Mix thoroughly and serve. That's it! Dinner: Quesadillas Here's a great, easy meal that won't tax your cooking skills. It serves eight, and it's a tasty way to end the day. Here's what you'll need: 1 can (15 oz.) garbanzo beans 1/2 cup water-packed roasted red pepper 3 tbsps lemon juice 1 tbsp tahini 1 peeled garlic clove 1/4 tsp cumin 8 corn tortillas 1/2 cup chopped green onions 1 cup salsa Drain the beans and put them in a food processor with the red pepper, lemon juice, tahini, garlic, and cumin. Blend the ingredients until they're smooth. Spread two or three tablespoons of the mix onto a tortilla and place it on a nonstick pan over medium heat. Sprinkle with the desired amount of onions and salsa, then cover it with another tortilla and cook for two or three minutes, until the bottom tortilla is warm. Flip it over and cook on the other side for a minute, and you're done. These are pretty simple recipes designed to show beginner vegans and amateur cooks that it's possible to prepare a smart meal without being an expert behind the frying pan. Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty with ingredients, and soon enough you'll be able to make a variety of vegan dishes. Enjoy! By-line: This guest post is contributed by Donna Moore, who writes on the topics of massage therapy schools. She welcomes your comments at her email Id: donnamoore20@gmail.com.