Mini Vegan Cajun-Spiced Cheese Beignets with Dill Dijon Aioli Dip

After being Procrastination Patty for the past few weeks, I've started tackling my To-Do List. It's more of a To-Do Stack, but I digress...

I'm not the type to gently pace my way thought a hefty workload. I hit a breaking point after the "Undone" loomed in the back of my mind for too long, and bulldoze through all of it in a day. In the past 12 hours, I've addressed and mailed ALL my party invitations, payed all my bills, cleaned my kitchen, wrote three recipes, vacuumed my entire apartment, drove a friend to a job interview 15 LA-miles away, and still found time for an OKCupid date. No comments on how the date went. I'll save that for my future Literotica career. A very successful 12 hours, indeed. 

Did I mention I did all of this sober , with nary an energy drink in sight? I think it might be time to find a reputable doctor and talk about ADHD, which I'll add to my new To-Do List. At least everything else is done. As a teenager, I was the biggest lazy-ass on the planet. My room looked like a tornado blew a pizza restaurant through the window, magically managing to miss my glass bongs by the windowsill. I made my bed the "right" way a total of 10 times. My mom's housecleaner started refusing to clean my room following an incident where she found a rotting grilled cheese in my closet. How it got there? I still have no recollection. 

I'm not very attuned with being "in the closet" metaphorically. I claim my get-out-of-jail-free pass on this one. I was going to continue on the topic of how I morphed from stoner slob to neat freak, but I was just reminded of a lovely story that pertains to the aforementioned mentioned housecleaner. 

Okay...here it is: 

One night circa 2002, my friends and I are passing around the bong. One of them has a little accident. The bowl breaks off from the glass down stem, leaving me with a clear glass tube that was shattered on one end, and the detached glass bowl. My stupid ass left the glass tube on the table, went to bed, then headed off to work early the next morning. 

When our housekeeper found the clear glass tube, she ran up to my mother and screamed "Jennifer's smoking crack! I know it! This is a crack pipe!" My mom goes ape-shit, leaving me the following voicemail: 

Mom: "Jennifer, there is something I don't like going on at this house, and that something is CRACK COCAINE! Don't try to lie to me. I know exactly what you're up to. You are going to rehab immediately. You and all your crack head friends need help, and I'm going to be the one to put a stop to it!" 

I receive the voicemail, and am so confused. I've never seen crack nor crack paraphenalia before let alone touched it. I rush home to find my brooding mom pensively holding the glass tube, and I just burst into hysterical laughter. I hold the broken tube up to the bowl piece. My mom almost cries tears of relief. 

That was a typical day when I was 17. I'm happy to report that my mother and I have an adult relationship rooted in love, trust and looking back at those times with our dark senses of humor. 

Alright. Food time.

Miniature Cajun-Spiced "Cheese" Beignets with Dill Dijon Aioli Dip

For the Beignets

• 5 TBSP Vegan Butter, cut into small pieces
• 1 tsp Yellow Mustard Powder
• 2 tsp Cajun Blast or other Creole Seasoning
• 1/2 tsp Kosher Salt or more if needed (to taste)
• 1/8 tsp Cayenne Pepper
• Freshly Cracked Black Pepper, to taste
• 1 cup Water
• 1 heaping cup Flour
• 1 cup Vegan Heavy Cream mixed with 8 TBSP "Egg" Mix (or Vegan Liquid Eggs)
• 1/2 cup shredded Vegan Mozzarella Cheese
• 1/2 cup Dr. Cow's Tree Nut Cheese, finely grated (or any hard Vegan Parmesan, grated)
• Peanut Oil, enough for frying

In a medium saucepan over medium heat, combine the vegan butter, mustard powder, Cajun Blast and pepper. Add the 1 cup of water, then bring to a boil. Using a wooden spoon, add all the flour and quickly beat the ingredients together until the form a ball that doesn't stick to the sides of the pan. 

Leaving the burner on, remove the pan from heat and beat in half of the heavy cream/"Egg" Mix mixture until completely combined. Place the pan back over the burner and incorporate the rest of the heavy cream/"Egg" Mix mixture, then remove from heat again and beat until a smooth dough is formed. 

Return to the stove top again and cook, stirring frequently, for 1-2 minutes until the dough is shining and smooth. 

Cool slightly, then beat in both cheeses. 

Pour about 3 inches of oil into a deep pot or deep fryer, then heat oil to 375 degrees F. 

Working in batches, drop about a rounded teaspoon of dough into the hot oil. Fry, flipping once, until the beignets are puffed up and evenly browned on all sides, about 3-4 minutes. Place on a paper-towel lined plate to drain prior to serving.

 

Dill Dijon Aioli Dip

• 1 cup Vegan Mayo
• 1/2 cup Vegan Sour Cream
• 1/4 c Dijon Mustard
• 1 TBSP French White Vinegar
• 1/2 cup loosely packed Fresh Dill
• 1/4 cup Olive Oil
• Salt and Freshly Cracked Black Pepper, to taste

First, add the garlic to the food processor and pulse a few times to mince. Then, combine all of the rest of the ingredients except the olive oil in the food processor. Turn the machine on and blend for a few moments, then scrape down the sides of the food processor with a spatula. Turn the machine on again, and with the machine running, slowly pour in the olive oil until fully incorporated. Taste for salt and pepper.