Baked Yellow Zucchini, Leek and Vegan Feta Omelette with Fresh Herbs

Ahh, it's good to be home. I just returned from a week-long trip to Sulphur, Louisiana aka Vegan Hater, Louisiana. I'm just lucky there's a Pizza Hut with a salad bar or I possibly would have starved to death. Stomach pangs aside, I love visiting small towns. It takes me back to my roots. There's something about downing coffee at The Waffle House at 2am that brings back fond memories of post-mushroom trips and drunken teenage debauchery. 

On one particular trip to The Waffle House around my 18th birthday, I was so shit-face wasted that I accidentally bit a gigantic chunk of my mouth off instead of my waffle, and blood started gushing EVERYWHERE. My best friend starts to panic, and of course my drunk ass just starts laughing and screaming "Emergency! Emergency! Party Foul!" It was one of few times my little sister, who was only 15 at the time, snuck out to drink with us. I did NOT want my Jewish mother knowing that I was:

A) So tanked that I couldn't differentiate waffle from my physical body.

B) Lying about the "Study Group" that "ran late".

C) Getting tanked at said "Study Group" with my barely Bat Miztvah-ed sister.

My BFF and I quickly snuck into my house, and headed straight to the hospital. Instead of actually checking into the hospital via waiting room and triage, I burst through the swinging doors of the ER. Friendly reminder that I have blood dripping dripping from my mouth like a vampire after a buffet.

An ER nurse turns the corner, jumps and gasps at the sight of me. As the nurse starts to ask me why I'm just waltzing into the place, I spy a doctor. Do I care that he's with another patient? Drunk Jenn most certainly does not. I run up to him holding out my profusely bleeding lip. There's no way the doctor didn't smell the alcohol on my breath, and there was a 50/50  chance that he knew my mom and had met me before at a staff party. Did I mention she'd worked at that hospital for nearly 20 years?

Whatever his reasoning, this doctor had sympathy for my very underage, stupid faux pas. He rolled his eyes, handed me some gauze and said "Apply pressure. It'll heal". And you know what? He was right. It did. Anyway, I'm way off topic here. 

Now that I'm back in LA, the wife I am a busy bee. First things first... All my fellow lady-loving-ladies in Los Angeles: Some friends and I have started a new girls night called "MaNiC" at Skinny's Lounge in the NoHo Arts District. Even if you're not LGBTQ, there's an excellent reason to attend because part of the proceeds are being donated to the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center. Bonus: 2 for 1 drinks until 11pm for all attendees. Come on. How can you beat that? 

Our Grand Opening is next Thursday, October 7th at 10pm. You can visit the website for more information here: http://www.manicskinnys.webs.com/ And also be our friend on Facebook by clicking here: http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100001533163006&ref=ts Oh yes. One last thing. If you haven't "Liked" my upcoming book "Veganize This!" on Facebook yet, help a bitch out by clicking the "Like" button in the right sidebar. Unless you really don't "Like" me. Then we have some serious talking to do. Have a great week!

 

Baked Yellow Zucchini, Leek and Vegan Feta Omelette with Fresh Herbs

• 1/4 cup Long-Grain White Rice
• 3/4 cup Water
• Salt and Freshly Cracked Black Pepper, to taste
• 3 TBSP Olive Oil, divided into 2 TBSP and 1 TBSP (read the recipe, bitches...) 
• 3 Leeks, tops removed, split lengthwise and chopped (no more than 2 inches of dark green included)
• 3 Zucchinis, coarsely grated
• 3 TBSP Fresh Mint, chopped
• 3 TBSP Fresh Dill, chopped
• 2 cups Basic Scrambled "Eggs" Mix (recipe follows), or Vegan Liquid Egg Mix
• 5 oz Soy Feta Cheese, crumbled
• Salt and Pepper, to taste

In a saucepan over medium-high heat, bring the rice, water and a large pinch of salt to a boil. Once boiling, turn the heat down to low, cover the pan and simmer until the water is absorbed, about 20 minutes. The rice should be fully cooked. 

Preheat your oven to 325 F. 

Place a large frying pan over medium-low heat. Add only 2 of the 3 tablespoons of olive oil. Once hot, sauté the leeks, stirring occasionally, until soft. This should take about 10-15 minutes. Once fully sautéed, remove the leeks from the pan and place into a large bowl. 

Using the same pan, heat the remaining tablespoon of olive oil over medium heat. Add the grated zucchini, and sauté until it's completely cooked & softened. This should take about 5-7 minutes. Season with a touch of salt and pepper, then add to the bowl with the leeks. To the bowl of leeks and zucchini, add the rice, mint, dill, scrambled "egg" mix, soy feta, salt and pepper. Mix well to combine. 

Grease a 9 x 9 baking dish, then pour the mixture into the dish. Smooth over with a spatula, then bake until golden brown and set, about 35-40 minutes. To serve, let it set for about 5 minutes, then cut into squares and serve while still warm. 

Basic Scrambled “Eggs” Mix

• 1 12 oz package Soft Silken Tofu
• 1 12 oz package Extra Firm Silken Tofu
• 1/4 cup Vegan Heavy Cream
• 3/4 cup "Egg" Mix (recipe follows)
• 1 TBSP Mellow White Miso Paste dissolved in 1 TBSP Hot Water
• Dash of Garlic Powder
• Dash of Turmeric
• Dash of Yellow Mustard Powder
• 2 dashes of Curry Powder
• 1 1/2 Black Himalayan Salt, to taste
• About 1 TBSP Vegan Orange Food Coloring (optional, for color)

Blend all of the above ingredients in a food processor . Taste for salt. 

To make the "Egg" Mix...

Reminder: If you can but Vegan Liquid Egg Mix, you can cut out this whole step.

• 1/3 cup Raw Walnut Pieces
• 1/3 cup Raw Cashew Pieces
• 3 TBSP Raw Sunflower Seeds
• 1/4 cup Roasted Sesame Seeds
• 1/4 cup Nutritional Yeast
• 2-3 tsp Kosher Salt
• Dash of Garlic Powder
• Dash of Turmeric
• Dash of Yellow Mustard Powder

Blend all the ingredients together in a food processor until the just start to stick together. It should smell/taste "eggy" to you when you're finished. Omit the last 3 ingredients to make a bitchin' Parmesan substitute. Also great when sprinkled on tofu when making a scramble.