Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Chipotle and Black Pepper Crusted "Steak" Sandwiches with "Cheddar", Heirloom Tomato Horseradish "Mayo" and Watercress

This past week, my vegan immunity powerhouse of impeccable health was crumbled by some unknown virus. My throat was sore, my cough was strong, and there was more mucus coming out of my body than I was aware it could produce. I had "bear head*" for over two days. I couldn't leave my bed for almost three days. I know I was extremely ill because I also couldn't even think about food. That's my red flag. When I can't even pick up a cookbook without growing queasy, I know something's up...and that something was a violent flu that I'll hopefully never cross paths with again.

I'm not used to falling ill. It's been almost two years since any sickness nearly this strong has pervaded my tiger-like immune system. And I am one crabby motherfucker when I'm sick. I couldn't just order Jane around to bring me tea and lozenges because she was equally as ill as I. All we could do was lay in bed together and whine in between coughing fits. I'm sure it was quite a scene.

I used to fake sick all the time as a kiddo, and I was downright GREAT at doing so. Most kids just stick a thermometer under a lamp and call it a day. Not me. I busted out. I would lay a hot water bottle underneath my neck and head to raise my temperature, then hide it the second my mom came in to check my fever. It would raise me to at least 99.5 or higher. I had perfected the fake sneeze like an artform. And, (this is gross...I know) I could make it seem like I'd thrown up in bed by chewing a bunch of food and spitting it on the comforter. I was one crazy 8-year-old. But instead of seeing myself as a young slacker, I like to think that all my days at home taught me how to keep a house together and tidy while the kids are at school. It's all about the light you shed on a situation.

Gross childhood stories aside, I'm back on my feet and back in my kitchen. For this sandwich, I used the new stretchy Teese cheddar, but I'm going to be an ass and recommend using Daiya instead. I just like the taste so much better.

Happy belated Labor Day!

*(You've seen the commercials where the guy wearing the bear head represents that disconnected feeling, right? Alright. Maybe I just like the term "Bear Head".

Chipotle and Black Pepper Crusted Steak Sandwiches with "Cheddar", Heirloom Tomato Horseradish "Mayo" and Watercress

  • 1 batch of Beef Style Seitan, made in 1 large piece
  • Canola Oil, for rubbing "Steak"
  • Kosher Salt, for seasoning
  • 1 1/2 TBSP Freshly Cracked Black Pepper
  • 1 1/2 TBSP Dried Chipotle Pepper, ground
  • 4 Sandwich Rolls, halved and toasted
  • 8 Slices of Vegan Cheddar Cheese
  • Heirloom Tomato Horseradish Mayo (Recipe Follows)
  • 1 bunch of Watercress

Heat your grill, grill pan or skillet over high heat. Rub the big piece of Beef Style Seitan with the canola oil, then rub well with salt, pepper and ground chipotle. Grill the "Steak" on both sides until slightly charred, about 4 minutes per side. Remove from the grill or pan and set aside to cool for 4 minutes. Slice into 1/4 inch thick slices.

Place two slices of "Cheddar" on the bottom of each sandwich roll, the place an equal amount of "Steak" atop the "Cheddar". Wrap each sandwich tightly with foil, then place back on the grill or pan for 1 minute on each side. Remove the sandwich from the heat and unwrap it, the add the Heirloom Tomato Horseradish Mayo and watercress to the sandwich. Serve.

Heirloom Tomato Horseradish Mayo

  • 1 large Heirloom Tomato, seeded
  • 1 cup Vegan Mayo
  • 1 TBSP Whole Grain Mustard
  • 2 TBSP Horseradish, drained
  • Salt and Pepper, to taste

Using a food processor, puree all of the ingredients except the salt and pepper until fully blended. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Cover and refrigerate at least 30 minutes before serving.


The Health Sensei said...

lol love the post! i could fake sick with the best of 'em, too!

did you try colloidal silver for your virus? that would've been my first suggestion...

Jes said...

Wow, you were quite the expert!!! I'm so glad you're feeling better now though, both you and Jane being sick must have been horrid.

The sandwich though...mmm I could go for one right now!

Unknown said...

I am impressed with your skills lady! I also was a heavy participant in school skipping..until that day my mom came home and found me with a 24 pack of beer....Ended that quickly.

This looks fantastic!

a-k said...

Oh man, I really wish I'd known you as a young child, although my super-scared and puritan self probably would have thought my mom wouldn't approve of our friendship. I can see you carried your creativity into your cooking...looks great!

Bianca said...

Oh shit. Glad you're feeling better now. I love the fake-puking tips, not that I have any reason to fake sick these days. But you never know....a situation could come up that I need to get out of. Also, the sandwich looks delicious! I'm a sucker for anything that involves seitan and vegan cheese.

x said...

Sounds like you were a sick day pro!

And I NEED that sammige like now! I might use a portobello instead of the seitan and make it this weekend :D

Cortney said...

I remember one day, I pretended to be sick so I could stay home. I was making all the right moves- moaning in "pain", coughing, sneezing, etc. Once 4 p.m. rolled around though, I wanted to play with friends, so I faked a "recovery". Dad quickly put me back in bed, citing my sickness. After dinner that night, he casually mentioned "too bad you were sick today, it was a holiday and all your friends were at the pool". He TOTALLY knew I was faking, and taught me a lesson by letting me eff up my actual day off. Oh Dad. Smooth move my man.

Related to food-I'm really scared of making my own seitan. I'm intimidated by the boiling part, and I'm not entirely sure I know how it's supposed to come out. Is this an irrational fear? Is it more simple to make than I think it is?

Mihl said...

Mean virus. I am sorry you were sick!

That mayo recipe sounds so awesome...and so does the sandwich.

Katherine Josh said...

i've been drinking bird nest soup every night (i only get the homemade kind back at home). the only reason why i drink it is because it's supposed to be good for complexion.

i’ve been taking the store-bought kind online (e.g. of famous branded only of course) which is directly mailed from Hong Kong. this would be at a more affordable price.

Anonymous said...

dammit jenn! where was this puking tip ten years ago?! i could have used it!

hope you are feeling better! food looks amazing, as always.

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