I'm turning into motherfucking June Cleaver. First, marriage, now we're moving to a house...in The Valley. That's right. The San Fernando Valley. Have I lost my mind? No. I've been trying to find it since '97. Regardless, I'll finally have a yard where I can garden my little ass off. I've been having wet dreams about harvesting my own kale and basil for years. Just the mere thought makes me tingly all over.
The one thing I severely dislike about moving, aside from all the chaos, is the fact that I can't cook while my kitchen's in boxes. I'm left with no other options except to order *shudders* delivery. I know, I know. I'm a lucky bastard to live in a city where vegan delivery options are aplenty. But I'm such a dweeb about needing to reap the rewards of cooking my own dinner.
So what have I been up to lately besides packing? Well, I've taken a recent liking to the show Weeds. "Gasp!", you say. Jenn aka Stoney McPoterstein has never watched Weeds? Nope, I'd never seen it before. But I've plowed through seasons 1 and 2 so far, and I'd also like to plow through Mary Louise Parker. DAMN what a hottie. All my former pot dealers had names like "Blitz" or "Lo Down" and were built either like line backers or Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Lucky me.
I'm hoping the crazy in my life dies down sooner than later so that I can return to my normal, cracked out cooking regimen. Until then, I leave you with this tasty masterpiece.
For the Steak:
- 1 batch of Vegan Beef Style Seitan (about 6 "Steaks")
- Light Sesame Oil, enough for coating "Steaks"
- 1/4 cup Chai Tea Leaves, finely ground
- 1 TBSP Coriander Seeds, cracked in a pepper grinder
- 1/2 TBSP ground White Pepper
- Sea Salt
In a small bowl, combine the ground chai tea leaves, cracked coriander seeds and white pepper well.
Lightly coat each "steak" with a bit of sesame oil, then sprinkle with a touch of salt. Rub each "steak" with an equal amount of the tea leaf/coriander blend, then set aside.
Oil a grill pan or large saute pan well, then heat the pan until it's hot and ready. Grill the "steaks" on each side for about 4-5 minutes until browned and cooked through, then remove from pan and set aside to cool.
Once cool enough to handle, slice the steaks on a bias into this slices, then set aside until the Lo Mein is finished.
For the Lo Mein:
- 1 lb Spaghetti or Soba Noodles
- 1/2 cup Seasoned Rice Vinegar
- 2 cloves Garlic, minced
- 1/2 tsp Ground Ginger
- 1/4 cup Light Soy Sauce
- 2 TBSP Canola (or Vegetable) Oil
- 2 cups small Broccoli Florets
- 1 lb White Button Mushrooms, sliced
- 1 large Onion, largely chopped
- 1 cup Sugar Snap Peas
- 1 cup prepared Better Than Bouillon's No Beef Broth, chilled in the refrigerator until cold
- 2 TBSP Cornstarch
- 1/4 cup Fresh Cilantro Leaves
- 1 tsp Dark Sesame Oil
- 1 batch of Cracked Coriander Seed and Chai Tea-Rubbed Steak Strips (above)
- Black Sesame Seeds
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil, and cook noodles until just al Dente. Drain well, toss with a touch of canola oil, and set aside.
In a medium-sized bowl, combine the seasoned rice vinegar, garlic, ground ginger, and soy sauce. Set aside.
Heat the 2 TBSP of canola oil in a large wok until hot, then add the rice vinegar mixture and broccoli. Stir fry for 2 minutes, then add the mushrooms, onions and snap peas and saute until tender.
Combine the chilled No Beef Broth and cornstarch in a small bowl. Pour it into the wok, and allow it to cook until thickened. Add in the cooked noodles, and toss to combine, and allow the mixture to cook until the noodles warmed through completely.
Remove from heat, toss with fresh cilantro and dark sesame oil, then serve topped with slices of Cracked Coriander Seed and Chai Tea-Rubbed Steak.