Just a Quick Note...

Two new sites up...
1)"Veganize This" Blog
2)"Veganize This" Website

Questions, comments, concerns? You know where to find me :)

"Shrimp", "Sausage", Shallots and Criminis over "Parmesan" Grits

I'm officially going through my quarter life crisis. I've threatened many times, but I finally did it. I let Jane cut my hair shorter, give me bangs, and dye it black, and she did an amazing job. Now I look like a 14-year-old emo kid, but I feel so much more "like me" without the blonde hair. I mean, I was never a cheerleader, I don't tend to be vapid, and I never took an active interest in boys or fashion. Not that that's true of all blondes, but I didn't like that some made those generalizations about me just due to my hair coloring. The only down side is that now I look nothing like my ID, and I have a hard enough time getting into bars as it is. Here's a picture so you can tell me what you think. Be honest. Just remember, I know where you live...

In other life news, we're moving back to the Gayborhood! I'm more excited than a fat kid in a candy store, mostly because I can walk to Whole Foods again.  I also happen to be conveniently located a block from my favorite sex toy shop, which could prove very dangerous to my bank account. What can I say?  I take pride in my collection. Ok, that was definitely a little TMI, but if you've been reading my blog for a while, I'm sure you're used to it. So get over it ;)

This week's recipe was spurred by an interesting reason. When I was visiting Louisiana, I found all these crazy flavors of grits that they don't sell west of the Mississippi.  I was so excited to see grits again, that I bought about 10 boxes.  I had to buy an extra suitcase just to return them safely to Los Angeles. The only vegan one was the Original Flavor, so, luckily for y'all (like the southern throw-back?), I can provide you with this lovely recipe.

Enjoy this one, folks. And remember to wear purple today in memory of those who have taken their own lives just because they were gay or lesbian. It would mean a lot to me.

"Shrimp", "Sausage", Shallots and Criminis
over "Parmesan" Grits

For the Grits...

• 4 cups prepared Better Than Bouillon's No Chicken Broth
• 1/2 cup MimicCreme's Healthy Top Vegan Whipping Creme
• 1 cup Quick Cook Grits
• Salt and Freshly Cracked Black Pepper, to taste
• 1 TBSP Vegan Margarine
• 1/4 cup finely grated Dr Cow's Tree Nut Cheese (any flavor)

For the Shrimp...

• 2 TBSP Vegan Margarine
• 1 large Shallot, chopped
• 2 cloves Garlic, minced
• 1 1/2 cups sliced Crimini Mushrooms
• 12 oz Field Roast Wild Mushroom Quarter Loaf, cut into 1/4 inch cubes
• 1 package of Vegetarian Plus Frozen Vegan Shrimp, thawed
• 1/4 cup Dry White Wine
• 1 (14.5 oz) can Diced Tomatoes
• Salt and Freshly Cracked Black Pepper, to taste
• Red Pepper Flakes, for garnish

In a saucepan over medium heat, bring the No Chicken Broth and Vegan Whipping Cream up to a low simmer. Once it begins to simmer, whisk in the grits and a pinch of salt. Return to a low simmer, stirring constantly. Stirring frequently, cook until the mixture has thickened, about 5 minutes. Stir in the vegan margarine and "Parmesan" cheese. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Heat a 12-14 inch saute pan over medium heat. Once the pan is heated, melt the vegan margarine and saute the shallots, garlic and criminis. Saute until the shallots are translucent and the criminis have softened a bit, then add the Field Roast. Once the Field Roast has cook through and beginning to brown, add the thawed Vegan Shrimp and saute for about 2 more minutes. Add the white wine and diced tomatoes, then bring to a boil for about 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Serve over the "Parmesan" Grits and garnish with red pepper flakes, if desired.

Serve immediately.

Grilled Cumin and Epazote Rubbed "Pork" Loin with Cactus, Heirloom Tomato and Pumpkin Seed Salsa

Last night, my Justin Bieber virginity was broken. That's right. I, for the first time, not only heard one of his songs, but saw one of his music videos. I can't say I particularly liked the song, but I did make one observation that I wanted to share: I believe Justin Bieber strongly resembles a butch teenage lesbian. Not that I'm attracted to Justin in any way, shape or form, but he would make one sexy dyke given a small boob job. Maybe one day he'll be featured on one of my favorite websites, Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians.

On a separate note, I think maybe I've been ingesting too many soy products as my doctor told me my estrogen levels are through the roof fight now.  No shock that I'm gay, but tests usually show me to have higher testosterone. The results have been nothing short of hilarious. Not only have there been some physical amplifications that I'm quite pleased with, but I actually caught myself crying to Tegan and Sara after eating 7 mini chocolate bars. Hopefully my body remedies this on it's own soon, because I refuse to live 24/7/365 PMS-ing like when I bawl to the Indigo Girls for hours just before "that time" of the month rolls around.

Hormonal fluctuations aside, I've been very busy ladies promoting a lesbian night, MaNiC, that I wrote about last week. Our kick-off event was nothing short of successful, and this week will be even better. If you're a girl who likes girls and lives in the Los Angeles area, come check it out. This week's theme is "Anonymous Numbers Night" where you'll have the chance to anonymously describe a girl you think is cute, then write your number next to the description and drop the note in a fish bowl.  The numbers will be doled out after midnight, and being the little Yente that I am, the organizers are hoping to create some happy couples. Special shout-out to my homeslice QuarryGirl for doing a post to help us promote.

Have a great week!

Grilled Cumin and Epazote Rubbed "Pork" Loin
with Cactus, Heirloom Tomato and Pumpkin Seed Salsa

For the "Pork" Loin...

• 1 batch of Vegan Pork (recipe follows), made in one large, loin-shaped piece
• 1 TBSP Kosher Salt
• 3 TBSP Ground Cumin
• 2 TBSP Dried Epazote
• 1 TBSP Chili Powder
• 1/2 TBSP Paprika
• 3/4 tsp Ground Allspice
• 3/4 tsp Freshly Cracked Black Pepper

For the Salsa...

• 1 lbs Cactus, prepared and diced (see Kitchen Tip for how to prepare Cactus)
• 4 small or 3 large Heirloom Tomatoes, diced
• 4 cloves Garlic, minced
• 1/2 medium Red Onion, finely chopped
• Handful of Pumpkin Seeds
• 1 bunch of fresh Cilantro, chopped
• Juice of 1 lime
• Juice of 1 small Lemon or 1/2 large
• 1/8 cup Olive Oil
• Salt and Pepper, to taste

Shaggy's Kitchen Tip:
When it comes to preparing cactus pads, make sure to select small to medium-sized, firm pads. You don't want them to be wrinkly or soft. When you're ready to prepare the cactus pads, put on a pair of rubber gloves. The thorny needles must be removed with a knife or vegetable peeler prior to dicing. Also remove any nodules, the thick stem, and trim any edges off the pad as well. Wash thoroughly after prepared, prior to dicing.


First, make the salsa by combining all of the ingredients and tasting for salt and pepper. Refrigerate until ready to use.

Second, make the rub for the "pork" loin by combining the kosher salt, cumin, epazote, chili powder, paprika, allspice and pepper in a bowl and mixing throughly. Rub the "pork" loin all over with the spice blend (you may not need to use all of the spice blend), then wrap the loin up in plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator for 3-4 hours.

Preheat your grill (or grill pan if cooking indoors) to high heat. Unwrap the "pork" loin, then grill over the hot heat for 7 to 10 minutes on each side.

To serve, slice the loin into 1-inch-thick slices, then top with a few spoonfuls of the cactus salsa.

Pork Chop Style Seitan

“Pork Chop” Seitan Dough:

• 1 cup Vital Wheat Gluten
• 1 cup prepared No Chicken Broth
• 1 TBSP MimicCreme™

“Pork Chop” Broth:

• 4 cups prepared No Chicken Broth
• 1 cup MimicCreme™
• 1/8 cup Tamari
• 1/2 TBSP Better Than Bouillon® No Beef Broth Paste
• 1 cup Pineapple Coconut Nectar (or Apple Juice)
• 1/2 tsp Ground Ginger
• 1/2 tsp 5 Spice Powder
• 2 tsp Garlic Powder
• 1 tsp Shallot Powder
• 4 whole Cloves, ground
• 3 points broken off of a Whole Star Anise
• 1 tsp Kosher Salt
• 1 tsp Sugar
• 1 additional cup Water

Take all of the “Pork Chop” Broth ingredients and mix them together in a very large pot. Bring to a boil.

Next, make your “Pork Chop” Dough by mixing and kneading the vital wheat gluten, water/bouillon blend, and MimicCreme until it's completely mixed. It will be a little more wet than most seitan dough recipes. Don’t let this scare you. Squeeze out the excess liquid, and form the mixture into a ball. On a cutting board, roll the seitan into one large "loin-shaped" piece, then drop it into the pot.

Cover the pot, reduce heat to simmer, and let the seitan cook for about an hour, stirring every 10-15 minutes.

Use a slotted spoon to remove the "Pork Loin," and place into a colander to drain and cool until ready to use.

Baked Yellow Zucchini, Leek and Vegan Feta "Omelette" with Fresh Dill and Mint

Ahh, it's good to be home. I just returned from a week-long trip to my wife's home town of Sulphur, Louisiana aka Vegan Hater, Louisiana. I'm just lucky there's a Pizza Hut with a salad bar, or I quite possibly would have starved to death. Stomach pangs aside, I love visiting small towns. It takes me back to my roots. There's something about downing coffee at The Waffle House at 2am that brings back fond memories of post-mushroom trips and drunken teenage revelry.

On one particular trip to The Waffle House around my 18th birthday, I was so shit-face wasted that I accidentally bit a gigantic chunk of my mouth off instead of my waffle, and blood started gushing EVERYWHERE. My best friend starts to panic, and of course my drunk ass just starts laughing and screaming "Emergency! Emergency! Party Foul!". My little sister, only 15 at the time, happened to be with us at the time, so we quickly dropped her off and headed for the hospital. Instead of actually checking into the hospital and going through triage, I just burst through the doors to the ER when a nurse walks out, run up to a doctor, and hold out my profusely bleeding lip.

I think the doctor could obviously smell the alcohol on my breath, and having sympathy for my very underage stupidity, he rolled his eyes, handed me some gauze and said "Apply pressure. It'll heal". And you know what? He was right. It did.

Anyway, I'm way off topic here. Now that we're back in LA, the wife and I are very busy bees. First things first...

All my fellow lesbians in Los Angeles: Jane and I have started a new girls night called "MaNiC" at Skinny's Lounge in the NoHo Arts District. Even if you're not gay, there's an excellent reason to attend because part of the proceeds are being donated to the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center. And did I mention 2 for 1 drinks until 11pm for all the ladies out there? Come on. How can you beat that.

Our Grand Opening is next Thursday, October 7th at 10pm. You can visit the website for more information here:

http://www.manicskinnys.webs.com/

And also be our friend on Facebook by clicking here:

http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100001533163006&ref=ts

Oh yes. One last thing. If you haven't "Liked" my upcoming book "Veganize This!" on Facebook yet, help a bitch out by clicking the "Like" button in the right sidebar. Unless you really don't "Like" me. Then we have some serious talking to do.

Have a great week!

Baked Yellow Zucchini, Leek and Vegan Feta "Omelette"
with Fresh Dill and Mint

• 1/4 cup Long-Grain White Rice
• 3/4 cup Water
• Salt and Freshly Cracked Black Pepper, to taste
• 3 TBSP Olive Oil
• 3 Leeks, tops removed, split lengthwise and chopped (you want about 2 inches of green included)
• 3 Zucchini, coarsely grated
• 3 TBSP Fresh Mint, chopped
• 3 TBSP Fresh Dill, chopped
• 2 cups Basic Scrambled "Eggs" Mix (recipe follows)
• 5 oz Sunergia Soyfoods Soy Feta Cheese, crumbled
• Salt and Pepper, to taste

In a saucepan over medium-high heat, bring the rice, water and a large pinch of salt to a boil. Once boiling, turn the heat down to low, cover the pan and simmer until the water is absorbed, about 20 minutes. The rice should be fully cooked.

Preheat your oven to 325 degrees F. In a large frying pan (that has a lid) over medium low heat, warm two of the tablespoons of olive oil. Cook the leeks, covered but stirring occasionally, until soft. This should take about 10-15 minutes. Once soft, remove the leeks from the pan and place into a large bowl.

In the same pan, add the remaining tablespoon of olive oil, heat the oil, then cook the zucchini over medium heat until it softens. This should take about 5-7 minutes. Season with a touch of salt and pepper, then add to the bowl with the leeks.

To the bowl of leeks and zucchini, add the rice, mint, dill, scrambled "egg" mix, soy feta, salt and pepper. Mix well to combine.

Grease a 9 x 9 baking dish, then pour the mixture into the dish. Smooth over with a spatula, then bake until golden brown and set, about 35-40 minutes. To serve, cut into squares and serve while still warm.

Basic Scrambled “Eggs” Mix

• 1 12 oz package Soft Silken Tofu
• 1 12 oz package Extra Firm Silken Tofu
• 1/4 cup MimicCreme
  
• 3/4 cup "Egg" Mix (recipe follows)
• 1 TBSP Mellow White Miso Paste dissolved in 1 TBSP Hot Water
• Dash of Garlic Powder
• Dash of Turmeric
• Dash of Yellow Mustard Powder
• 2 dashes of Curry Powder
• 1 1/2 Black Himalayan Salt, to taste
• About 1 TBSP Nature’s Flavor Orange Food Coloring (optional, for color)

Blend all of the above ingredients in a food processor . Taste for salt.


To make the "Egg" Mix

• 1/3 cup Raw Walnut Pieces
• 1/3 cup Raw Cashew Pieces
• 3 TBSP Raw Sunflower Seeds
• 1/4 cup Roasted Sesame Seeds
• 1/4 cup Nutritional Yeast
• 2-3 tsp Kosher Salt
• Dash of Garlic Powder
• Dash of Turmeric
• Dash of Yellow Mustard Powder

Blend all the ingredients together in a food processor until the just start to stick together. It should smell/taste "eggy" to you when you're finished. Omit the last 3 ingredients to make a bitchin' Parmesan substitute. Also great when sprinkled on tofu when making a scramble.