Asiago Cheese Bagel Stuffing Recipe
Gather ‘round, Kindelach. I’m resurrecting Kvetch Corner. Kvetch Corner 2.0 includes a YouTube video because I’m not blogging in 2008 anymore.
Do y’all know why Jews love bagels? Because they’re fucking delicious and cheap. Not all bagels are created equal. If it’s not from NYC, I most likely don’t want it. New York City water is the key ingredient to a quintessential bagel. Bagels are served after Jewish funerals because they are a circle. They represent the circle of life [ cue “and it moves us allllll” playing in your mind].
To summarize: Bagels = LIFE.
Also, death. At least it’s delicious for your dearly beloved.
If my venting rant comes off as bratty or privileged - just know my ancestors have gone through roughly 4000 years of torrential hell for me to thankfully exist and have a voice in the world. And a mouth to eat bagels with.
Iris and I spent a good part of last September in NYC for work. Some years have passed since my last trip to the Big Apple, and the food landscape evolves so rapidly that even Yelp overwhelms me. Our second morning there, a Jewish elder kindly brought what I was told was “simply the best” bagel in NYC.
News to me: flat bagels are all the rage. Sweet gesture, but I want DOUGH. Specifically, I want the chewy, fresh and unmistakable NYC bagel dough boiled and baked to perfection.
Seeing me smile through my rage, Iris hops on the internet the next morning and starts ordering Gay Bagels - the infamous rainbow bagels that stormed social media. I add on an Asiago Cheese bagel and about 5 other varieties because I’ve been carb-starved in Virginia and misled by a member of my own tribe.
The bagels arrive. I can feel the warmth and proper humidity levels steaming in the bag.
I tear the bag like a toddler unwrapping a Hanukkah present, locate the Asiago cheese bagel wrapped artfully inside and rip off the brown paper like I’m on a date with this beautiful, curvaceous, doughy creation. My eyes behold the most glorious culinary creation. My hands feel the authenticity. I bite into this beauty, almost crying tears of joy. Look at these beauties:
I order from Liberty Bagels 3-4 more times before we leave, making sure most of the final order flies home with us. In other words, I brought my side pieces back to VA with us. Here's one more Asiago bagel porn shot just so you're really getting the idea:
We ran out of bagels a few weeks later, which I could tolerate because I knew we’d be back in NY before Thanksgiving. The morning we land, I hop on UberEats and order a dozen of my new unguilty pleasure. What shows up is a mockery of what I’m now addicted to eating. It was a plain bagel in an Asiago Halloween costume. WTF is this?
Quick sidenote: This is not a negative review of Liberty Bagels. I have owned and run several local restaurants. Staffing is a nightmare, and your employees will do some heinous things behind your back. I’m talking about my staff dealing cocaine out of the men’s restroom, card skimming a small town’s wealthiest residents, and much more (tune in for this drama!)
My point? Mistakes happen. Especially in this era, and especially on one of the coldest Saturday mornings in NY.
Those mistakes should never be taken out on the business, particularly if you give them a chance to make things right.
I hop back on UberEats. Thankfully, in September I had a boudoir photoshoot with the aforementioned Bagels, as you saw above. This gives me a visual baseline for comparison. My only goal was to either have these four Asiago cheese fake-ls replaced with the real thing, or to get my money back. Just kidding, I’ve said enough about myself for you to know I needed my money back.
I nicely explain my situation to the UberEats chat support, send the photos, and am hit with this reply:
Mind you, this reply is sent to me in less time than it would realistically take UberEats to contact the business.
Oh really, “Becky”? You had time to process a review with the merchant in less than 20 seconds?
Jenn 2.0 is unleashed. Nice Jenn has left the building. I clap back from a place of genuine empathy and anger for all small businesses that financially suffer thanks to corporate America:
I’m happy to report that I did receive a refund for the four fake-ls and some extra Uber credits to use- at no expense to Liberty Bagels. UberEats offered a partial refund plus extra credits immediately after I vowed to air their shady greed on social media and secured screenshots.
Like I said at the beginning, my people have survived thousands of years of atrocities. Uber is a German word. Don’t lead me to start drawing unwanted parallels.
I’m a die-hard optimist and like to end on a positive note. I wanted to put the fake-ls to good use, and this recipe was born (also my wife is a penny-pincher, so there was no way out). It’s perfect for the next Thanksgivukkah – or just make it because you want to eat it.
In case you were wondering: Yes. I did get my perfect Asiago cheese bagels the next day - courtesy of UberEats credits. Look how happy we are together:
A few handy tips and guides before diving in to this pretty easy recipe:
1. I made a very entertaining video on how to prep an Acorn Squash:
The end result should be a dice that looks like this:
2. Before you slice up the onions, remove the root end (little fuzzy whisker-looking things) with a coring tool. Then, slice the onion in half from the top down to the root. You'll end up with pretty parenthesis-shaped onions like this:
3. Lastly, I just had to share the photo of all of the ingredients. These parsnips "got back", if you know what I'm saying. Iris and I cannot take this picture seriously nor unsee Madame Parsnips voluptuous curves...
Bon Appetit!
Asiago Cheese Bagel Stuffing
- 3 Asiago Cheese Bagels* (or savory bagel of your choice), cut into ½ to 1 inch Cubes (see photos below)
- 2 Large or 3 Small Parsnips, cut into roughly ½ inch pieces
- 2 Large or 4 Small Carrots, cut into roughly ½ inch pieces
- 3 stalks of Celery, sliced into ½ inch wide pieces
- 1 small Acorn Squash, bulb (top) removed, halved, scooped and cubed with skin on (see guide photos below) ----> or watch my How To Prep an Acorn Squash Video
- 2 Bosc Pears, stem removed, cored and diced into ½ inch pieces (see photo below)
- 1 ½ TBSP Brown Sugar (or substitute Turbinado Sugar)
- ¼ tsp White pepper, divided in half
- 3-4 cloves Fresh Garlic, finely minced
- ¼ cup Fresh Parsley, minced***
- One Small Leek, dark green top and root removed - halved, thinly sliced & thoroughly rinsed under cold water
- 12 oz Sweet Italian Chicken Apple or sub a Turkey Sausage of your choice*
- ½ cup (1 Stick) Unsalted Butter, divided into:
- 4 TBSP for the Caramelized Onions
- 3 TBSP for Root Vegetables
- 1 TBSP for Greasing the Baking Dish
- 3 cups Better Than Bouillon Roasted Garlic Broth: Mix 3 full teaspoons of Better than Bouillon Roasted Garlic Base whisked well into 3 cups of Hot Water**
Substitute Chicken Apple Sausage for Beyond Sausage Sweet Italian Links. The Beyond Sausage Hot Italian Links are great if you like a little kick. Here’s a good read on America’s Test Kitchen that leverages the Hot Italian Links against some competition. Substitute the Asiago Cheese Bagels with Schar Gluten Free Plain Bagels.You can even melt some vegan cheese on them before dicing them up - just don’t forget to let them cool down. Both of these Vegan substitutions are also Gluten Free. Two (vegan) birds with one stone. For the Butter, substitute your favorite Vegan Butter Alternative. I like Miyokos.
**The Better Than Bouillon Roasted Garlic Base is also Vegan and Gluten Free. The same brand makes a whole line of Vegan Soup Bases, and we use them in our home on the daily. The Better Than Bouillon Vegan Variety Pack on Amazon is a great deal and includes a tiny spoon. Yes, I love tiny things. No, Better Than Bouillon is not paying me to endorse them. If you’re not making a vegan variation of this recipe, nearly any of their bases will work. The Sautéed Onion and Roasted Vegetable Bases are good substitutes.
Instructions:
Preheat your oven to 425°F/218°C. Line a sheet pan with aluminum foil if you’re lazy. Use some cooking spray or Olive Oil to keep the bagels from sticking.
Cut the bagels into ½ -1in cubes like this:
Lay bagel cubes out on the prepared sheet pan and toast for 6-8 minutes. Pull the pan out for a moment, and use tongs to flip the cubes over to toast on different sides. Let the bagel cubes toast for an additional 3-5 minutes until they look like this:
Set them aside to cool on the sheet pan. You can turn your oven off for a while to give it a break.
Place a large saute or frying pan on your stove burner and turn the heat to medium-high. Remove the sausage from its casing (if necessary), and chop it up with a spatula while frying.
In the last two minutes of cooking, throw in the minced garlic. Cook the sausage/garlic until the sausage is browned and a little crispy. Turn off the heat when it’s done. It should be looking this sexy:
Now that the toasted bagel cubes have cooled, place them in a large-ass mixing bowl.
Next, use a slotted spoon or mesh skimmer to carefully transfer the chicken apple sausage and garlic to the big-ass bagel bowl and stir well to combine.
If you used a Sweet Italian Chicken Apple/Turkey sausage, there shouldn’t be much grease left in the pan. You want to leave whatever cooking grease is still in the pan there for extra flavor. If there’s more than just a light coating left in the pan, feel free to remove any extra. Don’t clean the pan yet.
Turn your stove burner on to low-low heat, and in the same skillet/pan used to cook the sausage, add half of the 4 TBSP of unsalted butter reserved for caramelizing the onions. Once melted, add a large handful of sliced Vidalia onions. Saute the first handful of Vidalias, stirring often while they cook. Allow each handful you add to reach the soft and translucent point- then add in another handful. The pan contents should look like this before adding another round:
Repeat the process until they’re all in the pan, sprinkle them with Kosher salt and ⅛ tsp of the white pepper. Continue sautéing until all softened and translucent. Once they look like this, add the other 2 TBSP of unsalted butter you set aside for the caramelized onions:
Pay attention here: continue cooking, stirring frequently, for 30-45 minutes if you want them truly caramelized. You can feel free to move on to prepping the squash and veggies (aka next step) if you’re up for gentle multitasking.
If the Vidalias start to stick to the bottom, add a little more butter, a touch of cooking stock or water to lightly deglaze the pan. Olive oil will work in a pinch, too. Add your deglazing ingredients in very small amounts at a time - and don’t be afraid to add a little more as-needed. They should look like this:
If they’re looking like the above photo, kill the heat and use tongs or a slotted spoon to move them to a wide bowl or platter. Set them aside until they’re too cool for school. Once again, don’t clean the pan. Just place it on your backburner or somewhere safe until we’re ready to saute the celery, leeks, pears and parsley. Patience is a
virtue. While the Vidalia onions are caramelizing and/or cooling…
Preheat your oven to 475°F/246°C.
Place a very large cast iron skillet or very large oven-safe frying pan over medium-high heat. Melt the 2 TBSP of Unsalted Butter reserved for the squash/root vegetables in the pan while it heats up. Once melted, add the cubes of parsnips, carrots and acorn squash.
Sauté them, stirring frequently, for 8-10 minutes. Sprinkle the brown sugar, salt and remaining ⅛ tsp white pepper and sauté about 5 minutes, stirring frequently, until soft and lightly browned.
Turn off the burner, then put the pan full of squash and root veggies into your preheated oven.
Roast, stirring once every 7-8 minutes, until the veggies and squash are browned and roasty AF on all sides:
Carefully remove the pan from the oven, and turn it down to 350 degrees F.
I repeat: turn that shit down to 350°F/176°C so it can cool the fuck down.
If you haven’t added the cooled Caramelized Onions to the big-ass bowl of bagels and sausage, now’s the time. Stir the bowl contents to evenly distribute the liquid so it’s not all sitting on top of the bagel cubes.
Take the sauté pan I advised you not to clean (the one used for the sausage and onions) one last time. Place it on your stove burner over medium heat and add the 1 TBSP of olive oil. It will heat up pretty fast - please use potholders or a thick, dry rag.
(For reference, your diced Bosc pears should be cut like this. Honestly, you can cut them however you want - or leave them out of the recipe...)
Add the sliced leek to the heated pan with olive oil and sauté for about 7-8 minutes - until well softened. Add in the cubed Bosc pears and celery, then turn the head up to medium high. Sauté for 3-4 minutes, stirring frequently the pears are just starting to soften and brown, throw in the fresh herbs and sauté 1-2 more minutes. Once the pan contents look like this photo below, kill the heat and set the pan aside to cool.
Add the root vegetables and squash to the big-ass bowl + any liquid they’ve given off, and stir well again. Then, add the leeks, pears, herbs and 1 cup of the Stock and stir well once again.
Lightly grease a 7 Quart Wide (aka one that’s about 4 inches deep) Dutch Oven or 9 in x 12 in Wide x 3-4in Deep casserole or baking dish with 1 TBSP of unsalted butter. You can use cooking spray if you think we have crossed the “too much butter” threshold. It’s a Thanksgiving recipe, though - so be thankful that butter exists.
Pour the contents of the Bagel Bowl into the greased baking dish, making sure all of the ingredients are even distributed throughout the baking dish.
Have your remaining Stock ready to go in a measuring cup. Everyone likes their stuffing different dryness levels/textures, so the amount you add is up to you.
Place the bagel stuffing into the oven uncovered for 15-20 minutes, then add 1/2 cup more stock by gently and evenly pouring it all over the baking dish. Put the stuffing back into the oven, and bake for another 40 minutes. Check on it every 20 minutes and add more stock if desired. I used all 3 cups in mine, but you can use more or less. Whatever floats your boat and keeps your dinner guests happy.
Once the stuffing is brown and crispy/crusty on top, it’s done. You can reheat it covered with foil in the oven if making in advance, but make sure to remove foil for the last 10-ish minutes of reheating to crisp/brown if it’s softened up too much for your liking.
If you have room in your oven, bake the stuffing for the last hour while the turkey is roasting, checking it occasionally and adding more stock if the stuffing seems dry. Otherwise, bake it beforehand, refrigerate it and reheat it once the turkey is out, adding additional stock or broth if necessary.
Enjoy.
Comments