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Vegan Coconut Vinegar Scallops in Lemongrass Basil Creme Sauce + Garlic Coconut Rice

This week proved to be a much tamer one for the Veganize It...Don't Criticize It email inbox. Will I watch my mouth so that no one goes postal when my sarcastic words are misconstrued? Hecks nah. You should know me better than that by now. 

Issue 2: I know look like a 12-year-old. Bouncers, 7Eleven clerks and citizens of Los Angeles: I'm well aware that, for whatever reason, genetics didn't bless my body with height and curves that accompany others entering womanhood. My most womanly quality is my Little-Old-Lady-Chain-Smoker-From-Brooklyn-Voice, and I'm cool with that. 

There has not been a single alcohol, tobacco or lotto ticket buying experience over the past few years free of extreme ID scrutiny and public humiliation. It's a hurdle I've expected to pop up in my daily routine. 
Who had the most audacity? Here's my top 3 Most Ageist experiences, and you can decide for yourself:

1) Election Day, November 2008 I walk into my designated polling place. I'm all hopped up and excited to voice my opinion on my right to wed, and of course to vote in the Presidential election. I get in line. I wait. I wait longer. FINALLY, I get up to the table. The lady checking in voters looks up at me, and a kind yet sympathetic smiles spreads across her face. She looks me in the eyes and says...

"Oh, honey, where's your mother? Are you lost?"

I reply, "No, I'm here to vote. My mother lives in Northern California." I can feel her heart skip a beat from my deep, old-lady-chain-smoker voice.

She looks at my ID. She looks at me. She looks back at my ID, consults the registry book, and hands me the forms. 

Never missing an opportunity to be snarky, I assure her "Don't worry...I drink from the Fountain of Youth. It's off Sunset and Doheny." 

2) Barney's Beanery, September 2007 My best friend Sita and both happened to be blessed with youthful good looks. One night, we wanted to go out for a quick drink. Options are limited in Santa Monica, so we decided on Barney's. As we're walking up to the door, the bouncer stops us both. He actually LAUGHS at us and says, "Sorry, ladies, we don't allow anyone under 21 inside". I'd had enough. I felt my inner Jewish bitch dying to be unleashed. I took a deep, calming breath and did not speak calm words: 

"Don't you think it would be wise to look at our IDs first? Maybe I've had plastic surgery. I could actually be 40." 

I hand him my ID, which he checks once under a lamp, then a second time under the flashlight. He says, "This isn't the real DMV background."

"WHAT?!", I exclaim. I then turn to my friend. "Sita..show him your ID."

He holds our IDs side by side, actually growls at us, then lets us in. The waitress then asked for my ID again at the table. 

3) Fantastic Sam's Hair, August 2007. My mom was visiting me from NorCal, and she accompanied me to get a hair cut. I was led to the rocket ship for children for my hair cut and offered a fucking lolly pop. I shit you not. 

 Now, my recipe. Two weeks ago, I had a great visit to the Saturday Santa Monica Farmers Market at Virginia Park. I don't go to the markets as much this time of year because Heirloom Tomatoes and Basil aren't in season, and it's a little sad. 

There's an adorable older lady that runs an organic herbs and greens stand. She says "I haven't seen you in so long!". "I know...Basil's out of season. I miss it so much". She pulls a bag out from under the table. "I have something special for you! Here!" She hands me two gorgeous bunches of organic basil. I turned as red as a school girl eyeing her crush. 

 Check out the rest of my Farmer's Market bounty...

I wanted to put it all to some good use, and I hadn't made my tofu scallops in quite a while. This is actually a pretty easy recipe.

[Sorry, everyone. You'll have to find the recipe in my Cookbook, or shoot me a nice email asking for it.]

Comments

Anonymous said…
I sure hope you took her up on the offer to sit in the rocket ship!
Anonymous said…
I had similar experiences until I hit my late 30s. . . now I just look my age. Believe me, you'll miss it.

The scallops look GREAT!
What brand coconut vinegar do you use?
Jenn Shagrin said…
Hey Kristine...
The brand I used is called Buenas. I bought it from an Asian grocer up in the East Bay.
Hope that helps :)
janelle said…
I'm happy you got your basil! I know how you feel, basil is a staple in my kitchen too. I love farmer's markets. And the "scallops" look absolutely amazing. Thanks for sharing the recipe! :)
Another fantastic recipe from the JennShaggy files. Scenario number 3 had me giggling out loud!
Chris said…
I'm sorry you haven't had much luck in the physical adolescence department. But just imagine how many would kill for your youth!

Tofu scallops?! Incredible! This seems like something I might be able to pass off to my Dad as real scallops (don't spill the beans!). Your unbridled creativity is showcased well in your recipes. Keep 'em coming! :)
Anonymous said…
LOL! I can totally relate about the youthful looks.
I often answer my door only to be asked if my parents are in! (which I often play along with, it gets rid of people much quicker that letting them do their sales pitch).
I also get charged a childs fare on the bus quite often, which is for under 14's.
I don't drink so I don't get I.D'd very often, but my husband was refused beer with our weekly supermarket shop one week, just because I was with him! (you only have to be 18 to drink here too!). My husband is 33, and I'm 28!
I despair! >:o)
Adriana said…
Basil is hardly ever out of season in S. CA. I'm growing seedlings right now.
So you sat in the rocketship, right? This looks good. Too good. Cut it out.
Anonymous said…
I want to read some of this hate mail you got. Seriously, hate mail is always hilarious in a "wow, the person writing this is an idiot" kind of way.

PS. The tofu scallops made me drool a little.
Jes said…
You're one of those people that I'll be jealous of when I'm older! I never get carded and I'm not far enough from 21 for that to happen. The tofu scallops look amazing--what a wonderful basil surprise!
Anonymous said…
oh JEEZ. that is just ridiculous! i can't believe people question you, asking for your mom when you are showing up to fucking VOTE! like all those irresponsible kids, trying to vote too early...of course! yeah RIGHT...please! show some respect.

sorry, i forgot what i was saying. ima too busy drooling over that food.
miss v said…
man, i love your recipes. they always make it to my 'i need to make this' recipe box!
Unknown said…
God, that is awesome. I too get carded wherever I go, and I'm 36! Hey, I say enjoy it while you can. Date 19 year olds with hot bods haha.
vanessa said…
Oh. My. Goodness. This is making me drool. I must try this! Great post! ^_^
Anonymous said…
and great photos!
Unknown said…
Sorry where exactly IS the recipe?? We live on an organic farm in costa rica and I am currently making coconut vinegar for the first time!
Jenn Shagrin said…
Ashley:
If you send me an e-mail to..
veganizeit@gmail.com
I will send you the recipe. I had to remove many of my recipes for the sake of my cookbook, and just left up the posts with the photos.

Thanks for letting me know!
Jenn
Great blog! Thanks for sharing. It was very interesting and meaningful. Keep posting. I follow you.
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