Vegan Sage-Rubbed Pork Chops with Warm Apple Slaw
Somehow, I'm always unintentionally sparking proverbial fires. If you read my Goat Cheese Stuffed Pork Chops recipe, you already know about my accidental collegiate hell raising. Well, fellow vegans, I've done it again. Apparently, two separate Avril Lavigne fan sites caught wind of last week's post (one in Brazil, one in Argentina) and all out chaos ensued. Nasty comments started popping up on my blog, my inbox was FLOODED with e-mails, 85% of which were in Portuguese or Spanish. My personal favorite stated that I was "an Avril want-to-be hating whore" and that I should "shove cow liver in between my lips and die".
Apparently, my sense of humor doesn't cross cultures.
Avril fans worldwide, I would like to now issue this formal statement of apology. My white flag is up and waving, my tail between my legs:
Avril fans, I am deeply sorry for offending your love of Ms. Lavigne. I shall never again in my wildest dreams long to stand in her spotlight. My hands will never lovingly caress a Skater Boy. I would rather have a Roller Derby Girl, anyway. I will toss out my neck-ties, and opt for the dramatically less fashionably bow tie. I may even abandon neck wear all together and buy a snazzy broach. If a Skater Boy should happen to cross my path, I definitely will not utter the words, "See you later, boy", but will politely decline his offers of courtship with a simple, "No thanks, I'm taken".
My skinny jeans will be burned. I will now only wear my dowdy pair of baggy brown cords, making my non-existent ass look even more lacking.
I hope you will take these concessions with sincerity, as I know I certainly do.
Again, my deepest regrets for upsetting you,
Jenn
There. Now that the air's been cleared, on to this week's recipe.
I've been on a bit of a kick with these seitan pork chops lately. I don't know why, because I certainly disliked real pork chops. Regardless, I was given the opportunity by some good friends of mine to use their ASS KICKING VIKING OVEN RANGE! The heat distribution was flawless, and the lighting in their kitchen was great to boot.
Thanks, you two ;)